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If you, like me, dedicate a large portion of your time to travel, and spend more time traveling than you are resident in your own country, you’re more than likely to meet someone overseas.
Which is a pity, because long distance relationships don’t work, right? OH MY GOD WRONG!!!!! I swear I will hit the next person who tells me that long distance relationships NEVER work out…and there have been many.
I’m Megan from Australia, and over the last 5 years I’ve spent an accumulation of 6 months out of every year abroad. So it’s not surprising that I met the love of my life while traveling.
We have a pretty incredible story – so I’m told – which included pulling off one of the greatest long distance relationships ever, being almost 15,000 kilometers apart.
International Love: Maintaining a Long Distance Relationship
Mike is from America. We met in Africa (Tanzania actually). I still love the reactions we get when people ask “so you’re from Australia, he’s from America – where did you both meet?”!
After having both finished the Mt Kilimanjaro climb, we met through mutual travelers at the hotel at the bottom of the mountain. Before we knew it we had spent hours talking to each other and laughing together, and found ourselves sitting beneath a starry African sky in the early AM hours.
Dinner had turned into breakfast and we forced ourselves to say goodbye before heading towards separate flights. We swapped emails and phone numbers, not having any clue that our wedding in Hawaii would be less than three years later.
So how did we do it?
I firmly believe that you can make anything work if you want to. It’s that simple. That’s the big secret. If you truly want something to work, and you put everything you have into it, you’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish. I wont lie – long distance for 18 months was incredibly hard, but we made it work by maintaining the following.
If you find the following advice helpful, we have written a comprehensive e-book with 128 pages of advice and insight into how your long distance relationship can be a success too.
We also have a free Facebook community you can join to to connect with other people who understand what you’re going through. More information at the end.
What Makes a Long Distance Relationship Work?
We spoke every day. I got an amazing phone plan where I had unlimited calls to international mobiles, and we would talk for hours.
I would call around 11pm after getting home from work, meaning I would “apparently” sometimes fall asleep mid conversation :S, which meant Mike picked up his phone every morning around 6am in America.
Being forced to talk on the phone meant that we got to know each other a lot more intimately, and a lot more quickly than we otherwise would have.
A few months in, I may have had only spent 12 hours physically with this person, but I felt like I had known him for years. Skype video chat is also amazing.
Work out a time which works in both time zones and try to stick with it so you have consistency.
You may not be able to go no traditional dates, however that’s not to say that you can’t keep the romance alive, even from 15,000 kilometers away.
After flying home from Africa and fitting back into “reality”, roses arrived for me on my first day back at work! Mike had gone online, found a florist in my area and ordered them to be delivered…from America! – to which my mother’s reaction when I got home that evening was;
“How long did you spend with this guy? 12 hours? Megan you must have been amazing in bed!”. Awkward!
Over the months there were a constant string of romantic emails, chocolates, mixed CD’s, letters, and even pizza!! (Pro tip – you can find coupon codes for gifts to keep your costs down via sites like CouponHunt).
One hotel reception shift I had a pizza delivery man come in at lunch and drop off a Large Hawaiian, bottle of Fanta and chocolate lava cake; all which had been ordered and paid for by Mike online, from America!!
60 days out from us meeting in Scotland for New Years 2011 I received a box which had 60 letters; one each day until we met up! It might sound horribly corny, and you may now wish to throw up, but seriously – don’t underestimate the power of being sickly sweet!!
My Fav Romantic Idea: Friendship Lamps
Friendship Lamps are a really cool way to add some romance into a long distance relationship. It’s a super simple concept – you both have one, and when you tap your lamp, your partner’s lamp will turn on, on the other side of the country or world!
You can send each other colors, convey messages, and this small but really simple concept is a great way to bridge the gap in the distance that separates you!
It’s a metaphor of sorts too – when the light goes on you know they’re thinking about you – you instantly light up when the literal light turns on, and it’s a visual representation of their presence, even when you can’t physically see them.
The lamps operate off Wi-Fi, so you simply plug in your Friendship Lamp and establish a Wi-Fi connection. It’s super easy to set up, literally all it needs is the touch of a hand to connect with someone you love.
Click here to buy a pair of Friendship Lamps and surprise your partner!
Surprisingly, it does actually help when you consistently catch up with the person. Mike and I took our circumstances as a great opportunity to travel and met up with each other around the world.
After meeting initially in August 2010, we went to Scotland for that Christmas, and toured London, Amsterdam and Paris. He then came to Australia in April 2011 and spent a month with my friends and family before proposing!
We spent two weeks in London in June of that year, and he was back in Australia in October for our engagement party. I spent Christmas and New Years in America with him, and he moved to Australia on a 12 month work/travel visa in May of 2012.
We got married in Hawaii on Valentines day 2013 and settled in America. During our long distance relationship, we met on average every 3 or so months.
We both worked 2 jobs to pay for all of our travel; 16 hour days, in my case while at the same time studying Journalism and Law full time at university and still maintaining a pretty impressive social life.
Don’t Listen to Negativity!
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me my relationship was doomed I would be set for life. Listen to what your friends and family have to say, sure, but thank them for their opinion and continue living your life.
Family rumors circulated amongst the extended family that I was heading off for Christmas in Scotland with someone I had met on the internet (although let’s be honest I’ve met worse guys “conventionally” in bars and nightclubs than I have online); that Mike was actually 60; and I had friends who went as far to enlighten me in detail as to how I was going to end up raped and murdered, chopped up into little pieces in a garbage disposal in some dark alley.
I was continually told that there was no way he was being faithful to me 15,000 kilometers away, and that I was wasting my time and being ridiculous. According to my friends Mike was creepy because of the roses and pizza and mixed CD’s he would send.
I had a group of friends in my backyard at a party re-enact the “No Gary No” add specifically for me as an “intervention”. (Watch the add on YouTube).
However all of the negativity stopped of course when invitations to Hawaii were sent out and suddenly everyone had always been cheering for our relationship from the start!
Conclusion: LDR’s CAN Work
So in summary, take it from me – long distance relationships work if you want them to. We have had a pretty crazy, whirlwind relationship – but it’s worked for us, and it had to be whirlwind because of our situation.
If you’re after more advice, we have written a comprehensive e-book to provide you with detailed knowledge of how your long distance relationship can be a success too.
Over 128 pages we explore long distance love from your first contact to the moment you are together for good and find that distance is no longer an issue. More information about the e-book below.
The Ultimate How To Guide on Surviving Long Distance Love
This book takes a deep look into the subject of long distance relationships and offers practical advice, as well as authentic real life experiences and observations from our own relationship. Ultimately we succeeded in closing the distance gap and were able to live our lives together.
Each chapter will explore a different aspect of how a relationship can be affected by long distance and includes topics such as marriage, sex, having children, meeting family and friends, and immigration issues. Mike and I will both give our insights into our experience dealing with a long distance relationship as we take turns tackling each chapter.
Whether you’re young or old, male or female, gay or straight, it is our sincere hope that this book offers practical and realistic insight into what you might expect. Let this book offer you hope that your long distance relationship can be just as successful as our own.
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Join Our Facebook Community
We receive a large volume of comments and email outreach from those in long distance relationships asking for advice on their situation, and we’re always happy to help out where we can.
If you would like to stay in touch, or have a direct line to ask us for advice on your situation, we invite you to join our Facebook group called “Long Distance Relationships: Advice & Support Group”.
This is a group for support and advice on being in a long distance relationship. It is a community of like-minded people in similar relationships, offering the opportunity to connect with other people who understand what you’re going through. Everyone is welcome – we look forward to connecting with you.