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A long distance relationship or LDR can be difficult for anyone, but especially so for teenagers and young adults. Time can seem like an eternity when we’re young and being forced to have patience until you and your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend can work out how to be together permanently can prove to be extremely stressful for many teens. But this doesn’t mean that long distance relationships can’t last in your high school years.

While maintaining a long distance relationship during your teenage years may be more difficult, developing such a relationship can actually be a blessing for some young adults who might find a traditional relationship too time-demanding. Having forced distance between you and your love interest can allow you to focus on your studies, goals, and future career.

Let us dive into the world of teens and young adults who might find themselves in love with someone across the country or the other side of the world.

Young Love and Long Distance Relationships

For younger adults, it’s important to be really careful about committing to such an important life decision as a long distance relationship. This is not to say that young teenagers in love cannot end up married happily ever after, but you want to make sure you have the ability to grow into the individual person you have the potential to become.

We are constantly evolving as an individual, but much more so when we are entering adulthood. You want to make certain you truly know yourself and what you want out of life before you try to mesh that with someone else’s vision for their life.

While not all teenage long distance relationships will last, especially long distance relationships that start in high school years,  any young LDR can be successful depending on how you define “successful”. You shouldn’t look at a long distance relationship that broke down as a failure, as it can provide you with very useful relationship experience and lessons which you can utilize to make your future relationships you experience later on in life more rewarding.

LDRs that do last, often do so because both parties were honest with each other and themselves. You would be naive to think you will be the same person you are during your teens when you are older. Some lucky young couples can grow together, while others in a relationship find themselves growing at a different pace than their boyfriend or girlfriend.

It can also often come down to timing being the issue rather than it being an individual’s actions that cause a relationship to break down. There are a lot of factors that can come into play when you’re a teenager in long distance love. Despite how much you both may love each other, sometimes things just work against you and despite how much you both want things to work out it may not be the best path to take.

If making your long distance relationship work is forcing you to to make great sacrifices in your own individual life,then it will be hard for your relationship to be ultimately successful even if you do end up remaining together. Making too many sacrifices can often lead to having regrets and resentment for your significant other down the road.

Long distance relationships can be extremely difficult for younger individuals as you may not have access to transportation or the funds to meet with your boyfriend or girlfriend on a regular basis. You are also most likely not able to make certain decisions when it comes to things like where you want to live or other freedoms that are laid out by your parents.

This is not to say that it’s impossible to make a long distance relationship work as a young teenager, but you may find you have a seemingly more difficult road ahead of you. You may need to be extra flexible and patient to allow the relationship to mature over time as you and your partner do as well.

As hard as it is to admit, we haven’t had a great deal of life experience as a teenager or young adult in their early 20s. Many of us can be quite naive when it comes to understanding love and relationships. Even adults struggle with it. This naivety has the potential to open our younger selves up to some ugly truths that can be present with romantic relationships. This is especially true when it comes to the online world.

Teens and those in their early 20s have to be extremely careful when it comes to meeting up with people they have met online. We have all heard nightmare stories that may involve catfishing (someone pretending to be a different person), paedophilia, and possible sexual assault. Although relationships created online can lead to negative outcomes for any age group, younger adults are more susceptible to being duped or coerced into things they did not expect or want.

As difficult as it may be, if you are young and do decide to start an online relationship with someone, it is best to make your parents or other family members aware of the relationship. They can often distinguish warning signs you may not see, as it’s very easy to ignore red flags when we’re jaded by the prospect of falling in love.

Facts About Young Love Long Distance Relationships

These are some facts to give you idea of how young adults view relationships and their experience with them.

  • 40% of young adults choose not to tell their parents about their long distance relationship.
  • 60% of teens say they will most likely be forced to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend before attending college.
  • 90% of teens hope to one day get married
  • 60% of teens experience a deep loving relationship at some point and nearly 70% of those said they have had their heart broken at some stage.
  • 50% of young adults say they believe in love at first sight, while an astonishing 95% say they believe in true love.
  • Sadly, 1.5 million high school students in the U.S. alone suffer abuse ( mental or physical) from a boyfriend or girlfriend. (females are disproportionately the ones to suffer abuse).
  • Over 40% of college-aged women who date say they experience some form of violence or abuse.
  • Sadly, only about a third of abuse sufferers will talk about their abuse with a friend or family member.

Best long distance relationship tips articles

 

Meg and Mike Jerrard are the Long Distance Relationship experts, and authors of best selling book ‘The Ultimate How To Guide on Surviving Long Distance Love‘. An American and an Australian who met in Tanzania, Africa, they have since closed the distance and now help others on their LDR journey too.

Join over 9,300 other couples in our Facebook Group specifically for support and advice: “Long Distance Relationships: Advice & Support Group”.

Check out our Best-Selling eBook:

The Ultimate How To Guide on Surviving Long Distance Love”

 

 

 

    10 Comments

  1. Hi,

    I have a question

    We are Asian American and my daughter’s boyfriend Palestine American. His parents are divorced.

    My daughter met this guy in college study group in BioChem. They graduated class of 2019. In December 2021, he asked if she would like to try long distance relationship. (He is in medical school 2nd year in Michigan. My are in California. ) She is trying the relationship, Day by day. She told me she is not attached to significant other. Is it wise to have ldr if there is no long term commitment like engage?

    Her previous dating experience was with a college guy, long distance and broke up November 2020. He was Asian American like ys, but he had problems with anger emotion outbursts. She made her decision to end relationship.

    • Hi Vivien

      Thank you for writing in and sharing your daughter’s story. And I’m glad that she’s been able to move on from her first boyfriend, it’s never ok to have to deal with emotional outbursts like that.

      I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dating someone in an LDR even if there’s no initial long term commitment. They can start out by simply getting to know each other, and over time as their lives and circumstances change, if the bond continues to grow stronger, perhaps they can slowly start deevloping a long term plan together :)

      Nothing wrong with it – everybodys relationship is different in the way it works for them and their set of circumstances :)

      Wishing them both all the best!

  2. I have a question
    Is it better to end the relationship and focus on careers
    Well when both partner are aware of the consequences of the relationship but still choose to do lDR

    • Hi Faith, ultimately what each couple chooses to sacrifce comes up to them, but if you’re both putting careers on hold to be together, and you both believe that’s worthwhile, that’s perfectly fine. You just don’t want to look back on the relationship at a later date and regret putting things on hold, so whatever you choose to prioritize has to be your choice.

      There’s no right or wrong way to pursue an LDR, just what’s right for you.

  3. Hello I have a question, me and my partner have been together for 6 months now. But we’ve been knowing each other for 8 months.

    Our relationship was rocky in the beginning, and led to us arguing very often and sadly break up. However, we ended up back together. Today my partner mentioned he’s getting a sponsorship in Australia they are Filipino and not American I am so my partner can’t work here. I can’t help but to be happy for my partner, his family everyone wants him to move and I do too. He’s uncertain that we may not work out, because we may find other people along the way, the different time changes and that we may lose interest.

    I’ve never done long distance but I love him, and I’ve seen myself grow next to him which I’ve never had with anyone else. I’ve mentioned to him I don’t want to lose him but he’s uncertain and worried I’ve tried reassuring him but he’s skeptical, what can I do? We only have 2 months together before he has to leave and it breaks my heart…

    • Hi Camilo, thanks for sharing your story, and I’m very sorry to hear about your situation. It’s very tough!

      When faced with these situations, I always say to my partner, yes, you know what, we might meet other people along the way. But for right now I’m committed to you, and making it work with you, and we can only work in the right now, we can’t base our decisions today on what may or may not happen in the future.

      If it happens that in the future you do meet someone else, that’s a bridge to cross when you come to it. It may happen, it may not, however you can’t live in the present by trying to guess what might happen in the future.

      I would try and have a conversation with him around this, that right now you’re both in love, both committed, and both accept the realities that long distance is hard, but you want to continue on the journey and take each roadblock if and when they come.

      Enjoy your two months together knowing that this is the chance to spend beautiful quality time with someone in your life who you love, and if that time strengthens your bond to the point where you make your long distance relationship work, that’s fantastic! If it happens that later down the track you do move apart, the next two months are still special,quality time you get to spend with someone who right now, you love.

      None of us know what will happen in the future, but that doesn’t mean you should call quits on something that’s beautiful right now because you’re unsure of how long it will last. You’ll only know how long it will last when you try it.

      I hope this line of thinking can help frame something to reassure him :)

      Sending you both all our love Xxx

  4. So I have started a long-distance relationship with a guy I really like, and I read and hear a lot of stuff that says that you don’t want to text someone too often in a long-distance relationship or it ruins it. I am a teenager so I get that relationships at this point can be delicate, and the guy I’m in this relationship with is very busy, but I question the validity of these sources, and I want to ask someone who actually has been in a successful LDR and who probably knows about other LDRs thinks. Thanks!

    • Hi Kate, honestly it really depends on each relationship as each person and couple has a different level of what they expect, and how much communication they’re comfortable with. And this may be different depending on your age, culture, and generation too.

      Personally, with my relationship we texted at least once every day even if it was something silly we were sharing from our day. In an LDR expecially, because you can’t physically be there with each other, communication and staying in touch is so important. So a simple text even sharing somethng that just happened lets the other person know they’re front of mind and that important person you want to share your life / news with.

      Some couples don’t text as often, or prefer email, or prefer calls, or as you say, some people are crazy busy so sometimes can’t always look at their phone.

      I wouldn’t take everything you read online as the only truth, it will be advice based on the persons truth who wrote it – so I would say read all of the stuff that’s out there, but only take the advice which you feel is right for your situaton and applies to the two of you personally :)

      Communication is definitely the most important part of keeping an LDR healthy and alive, and you should be in regular contact, it’s just how that contact plays out, and how often that you’ll both need to establish re what works for you.

      Wishing you both the best! Xxx

  5. I love your post,i’m in a long distance relationship,i’m a teenager,i and my patner have known each other for 9 months now though we started as friends but during the 7 month we decided to give LDRs a try and it’s working perfectly fine,though sometimes she gets really busy but i don’t mind,we communicate often but the problem is that she wants to meet but we both know that would be difficult since we are teenagers. How do i convice her to be patient

    • Hi Rex, thanks for reaching out, yes I think that’s very natural that you would both be busy while you’re in your teenage years. I think the key would be to keep your communication strong, which would assure her that you’re committed even if you can’t meet right now because of your situation. If your / her friends or family know about the relationship and are supportive, perhaps you could even each start doing some virtual meets with them to start integrating into each other’s physical lives a bit more. This could be a good middle point to meeting in person in the mean time :)

      Wishing you all the best

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