It’s unfortunate when your friends and family choose not to support your decision to be in a long distance relationship, but it’s an unavoidable reality for many couples. Generally, experiencing negativity will be more prevalent at the beginning of your relationship, though you may discover that your friends and family will ease up on their negative attitudes over time and eventually come around when they realize the relationship is legitimate and proving to be long lasting.
Here is some advice that can help you when you find your friends and family are not supporting your long distance relationship.
When Family and Friends Don’t Support Your Long Distance Relationship
Undeservedly, long distance relationships are often seen as less serious or real than traditional relationships. Both your friends and family can often be skeptical about your long distance partner, most often due to the fact they may not have met them in person yet or they have seen too many stories on TV and online about catfishing and malicious people that exist in the online world.
Most long distance relationships will be genuine but there are people that try to take advantage of people online all the time. It’s wise to consult your friends and family about your long distance relationship as they may be able to pick up on any red flags you may be oblivious to due to lust or feeling in love.
While it is important to consult your friends and family and let them know what’s going on in your life, you don’t have to constantly put up with negative attitudes if you are certain your long distance relationship is genuine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that doesn’t mean that you have to take the advice your friends and family offer you.
You don’t want to lose family and friends by making them feel as though you have disrespected their input. Be open to listening to their concerns and let them know that you appreciate their advice. If you chose to pursue your long distance relationship despite their objection, take the time to explain to them why and they hopefully should respect that.
If they don’t respect your choice and continue to put your relationship down or attempt to sabotage it, you need to make it clear that you’re not willing to continue to discuss your relationship. At this point you have given them every chance to respect your decision and if the negativity continues it may be time to put some temporary distance between you and your negative friends or family until their attitudes change.
Things can be a bit more difficult if you’re a young adult who may be still attending school and living with your parents, as you may actually be bound by the rules your parents set for you since you’re living under their roof.
Sadly, the majority of people who jump to offer their advice are generally people who haven’t been in a long distance relationship themselves and may not know what they’re talking about. If negativity from family members and friends is starting to get to you, you should remove yourself from the situation and discuss the problem with your partner.
Your partner may be the only one who can relate to what you’re going through. Stay strong in your convictions if this is something that you truly want to pursue and don’t let negativity or snide remarks from people who are outside the situation affect the way you view your relationship. In my personal long distance relationship experience, my friends would often tell me that my LDR partner was likely cheating on me. I had to remind myself that these were people who had never been in a long distance relationship before. I was confident enough in my connection with my LDR partner that I didn’t let the negative noise affect me.
If you’re living with your parents or a roommate and their attitudes are having a toxic affect on your relationship, it may be time to consider whether you need to move out. More often than not, once your friends and family meet your long distance partner and spend time with them, you’ll usually find that their doubts or negativity stops. They will begin to see how good you are together and how you behave around each other.
If your friends or family are really concerned about your LDR relationship and haven’t yet met your long distance partner, perhaps you could introduce them to your partner via video chat to ease their concerns. Show them photos of you both together or bring them into discussions on social media. Being able to put a face to the name and visualizing you both together can often go a long way in your family and friends being able to accept your relationship.
If the constant barrage of negativity towards your relationship is bringing you down, it can be very helpful to seek support and advice from people who have been in your situation. In this sense, online groups and communities can offer a fabulous network of support and is a great way to connect with people who know exactly what you’re going through. You are welcome to join our Facebook community “Long Distance Relationships: Advice & Support Group” if you would like to chat with other long distance couples for positive support or have Mike and I personally offer advice on your situation.
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