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After returning from their Bahama’s cruise yesterday, my parents had many stories to tell – most of which involved tales of ridiculous questions asked on board by some incredibly special guests!

Question: “Where does your electricity come from? Surely you don’t generate it yourself?!”

Reply: There’s a long underwater extension cord plugged in at Miami!

Question: “Are these islands completely surrounded by water??”

Question: On having difficulty finding her way around the ship, one woman asked “Will this elevator take me to the front of the ship?”

Question: “What kind of water do you use in these toilets; salt or fresh??”

Reply: Why? Are you planning to drink it?

Question:  “How high above sea level are we?” (asked while floating on the sea.)

Sydney Opera House Cruise

Guest: “Excuse me sir, but we had pizza last night and went to heat it up in our microwave this morning but the microwave is not working”.

Reply: “I’m sorry sir but you don’t have a microwave in your cabins.”

Guest: “Yes we do…” guest proceeded to describe the in-room safe.

Impressed with the sheer amount of hard working crew members on board, a young lady asked “Where do the crew sleep?”

Reply: “A helicopter comes in at 2am each night to transport them home.”

Guest the next day complaining: “The helicopter last night woke me!”.

Question: “What kind of water do you fill the pool with — fresh water or sea water?” 

Reply: “Sea water.”

Question: “Does that explain why the pool is so rough today?”

An hour into the cruise (after departure) a young woman realizes she has left her phone charger in her car and can’t understand why she can’t “quickly nick back to the dock”.


 About Megan Claire

Megan is an Australian Journalist who has been travelling and blogging around the world for the last 7 years to inspire others to embark on their own worldwide adventure!  Her husband Mike is an American travel photographer, and together they have made the world their home.

Follow their journey on FacebookGoogle+ and Twitter.



    • Lol that was my exact reaction :D

  2. Wow!

    I can imagine all of those happening
    Except for that sea level one

    But then again…. Wow

    Great Laugh


    • I weep for humanity lol :D!

  3. Brilliant, I love them.

    It does leave you wondering how can people who are so dumb be able to afford to go on a cruise?

    • Lol your comment made me laugh so hard – my sentiments exactly!!

  4. Wow! Hilarious, my fav was the helicopter one. Thanks for the great laughs!

    • Lol anytime – I know, I particularly loved that one!

  5. These are SO funny, Meg! I love the microwave one haha

    I’m going on a Mexican cruise in January. I’ll keep my ears open for more ridiculous questions.

    • Excellent, can’t wait to hear your contributions :D!!!

  6. A good giggle here! Can’t believe people sometimes, but doesn’t it make for a great blog post ;)

    • It’s true – I will happily exploit people’s stupidity for a good blog post lol :D

  7. Amazing questions…hard to believe how silly some people can be. I especially loved the one about the rough swimming pool. Classic!!

    • I think I shook my head at absolutely all of them – but the swimming pool was definitely a classic. Hard to understand just what goes through people’s head sometimes!!!

  8. Funny as hell

    • Glad you enjoyed it!

  9. Some of these are kind of understandable. Almost. If you’re feeling REALLY charitable.

    . . . and then there’s the guy who couldn’t tell the difference between a microwave and a safe, and I just give up.

    • Definitely only if you’re feeling REALLY charitable lol! All hope for humanity for me was lost at the helicopter :D!

  10. Love this! Laughing my head off, a good read first thing over breakfast! Happy travels! :)

    • Lol glad to hear you enjoyed it! Provided much entertainment for our afternoon as well :D! Safe travels!

  11. Confusing a safe with a microwave? I think that is the best one. At least, these people are not running the ship.

    • Very true! I can only imagine the problems which would ensue if they were lol!!

  12. Yes are funny if are just jokes but damn are true. Some people deserve a one way ticket to Mars :))

    • Lol they actually have those tickets available now too!

    • I am sure there are people who figure since they can travel to Hershey, to Charleston, to 5’th avenue (help me out here, running out of candy bar city/place names), that “Mars” is just another…

      Question, if these Mars trips do happen, can I buy a ticket for my former boss?


    • Lol I think at this stage it’s actually a raffle for the one way tickets – I’m sure you could sign him up – SURPRISE! :D lol

  13. LOL! I feel bad for the crew members who must come across questions like these on a daily basis. I love the imagery of an extension cord stretching all the way to Miami — awesome reply!

    • Sadly I’m sure they’re used to it by now – although working in hospitality did teach me that right when you think you’ve heard it all is when someone completely ridiculous blows that way out of the water! … like the literal reaction that much electricity mixed with water through to Miami would likely have :D

  14. Proving (yet again) why some people should really not be permitted to leave their own neighborhood :-)

    • Completely agree!

  15. All fabulous, but “Does that explain why the pool is so rough today?” had me in stitches.
    Don’t forget, these people can vote ….

    • Sadly!!!! Explains the choice in some past politicians :D

  16. Lol we just finished a Caribbean cruise and now I feel ripped off that we didn’t hear any dumb questions. Unless you count the countless times we were asked where my daughters red hair comes from.

    • Lol maybe you had all of the sane people on your boat!

  17. Do these stairs go up and down?

    • Lol wow that’s a great one too!! I wonder about some people lol!

  18. oh my goodness!!
    Sometimes the lack of intelligence of the human race astounds me.
    Thanks for the giggle :)

    • Lol anytime – and I agree – I always think I’ve heard it all but then someone always takes me off guard with something incredibly stupid :D!!

  19. That’s awesome. To be honest half the time I like asking stupid questions simply to see what the response will be, ha.

    • Lol very true – I’ve definitely been guilty of this before as well :D

  20. I try not to be judgmental of people on cruises, but how can you not when they say stuff like this? Amazing.

    Then again, I’ve asked some pretty stupid questions in my day (and by my day I mean all the time). At least it’s good entertainment value!

    • I’m totally judging people like this lol – I work in hospitality so I’m never shocked anymore by the stupidity of some people – but then again, you should hear some of the gems that come out of my mouth at times so I guess people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones!! :D

      As you said – goot entertainment value!!

  21. This cracked me up! Thanks for the laugh!

    • Lol I’m glad! Entertaining weekend reading :D

  22. Loved this. We have been on a few cruises and these comments don’t surprise us at all. Although, we can’t talk, one of our nieces thought the Rod Stewart impersonator was THE Rod Stewart and asked if he was flown in by helicopter.

    • Lol Lynda that’s gold! I guess there’s a little bit of special in all of us…I’ve definitely had my blonde moments in the past :D!

      Glad you’ve enjoyed your cruises to date, definitely let us know if you hear any other gems to add in the future :D!

  23. This does not encourage me to try cruising! (Unless all these questions were asked by the same people.) Wealth obviously does not guarantee intelligence.

    • Lol it definitely does not! I’ve had my blonde moments abroad though I like to think I’m a bit brighter than these :D! Though at least if anything, re encouraging you to try cruising, you know it would be an entertaining trip! :D

  24. My favorite is asking the ship’s photographer how do we find our pictures?

    • LOL, I guess they thought that the photographer was their own personal paparazzo!

  25. We’re coming up on our 60th cruise and we’ve heard some real winners.

    One of our favorites was on a cruise island-hopping in Hawai’i. ‘If we want to spend an extra day on a particular island, will the ship come back and pick us up’.

    No. The ship is called a liner because it runs a line. That means it goes from port to port on a set schedule. A vessel that carries 2000 passengers is not a water taxi.

    There is also the story of the lady on a super luxury ship who told a crew member that she appreciated the heated safe because it made her fine jewellery comfortable to wear for dinner.

    There was no such thing as a heated safe on the ship but the crew member figured out what the lady was talking about. The safe was positioned over the mini-bar and the exhaust from the fridge lightly warmed the safe.

    I do understand the question about whether a certain bank of lifts goes the the ‘front of the ship’. Large ships with central, forward and aft elevator banks can be confusing for new pax. When the ship is in port it can be difficult to determine

    • LOL Oh wow, I can’t believe someone asked if they could get picked back up – not exactly a hop on hop off bus haha

      So funny about the heated safe!

      Granted, the elevators on massive ships often confuse the heck out of me too, especially when some only go to certain levels – it can be quite the maze :D

      Thanks for sharing your stories Thipu – I hope you’ve got somewhere amazing planned for your 60th cruise! Enjoy XX

    • Had to print this whole thread, taking a friend on her first cruise in July, going to leave these questions out in the open somewhere in the cabin…


    • Bahaha lol that’s awesome :D! Where are you headed? Hope you have a fabulous time!

  26. Passenger: Captain, do these ships sink often?
    Captain: No ma’am, only once!

    • Haha love it!

  27. I’m currently working on a cruise ship as a bartender and I am writing a book about my job and I included a lot of ridiculous questions asked by the guests at the bar you never heard of.

    • Oh I bet Gerro! I’m sure you have some amazing material for your book – best of luck with it! :)

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